Instincts that can still betray us
A journey that leads to the sun
Soulless and bent on destruction
A struggle between right and wrong
You take my place in the showdown
I'll observe with a pitiful eye
I'd humbly ask for forgiveness
A request well beyond you and I

An abyss that laughs at creation
A circus complete with all fools
Foundations that lasted the ages
Then ripped apart at their roots
Beyond all this good is the terror
The grip of a mercenary hand
When savagery turns for good reason
There's no turning back, no last stand

Existence, well what does it matter?
I exist on the best terms I can
The past is now part of my future
The present is well out of hand

Saved a boy from being hit by a car today. And my entire arse is bruised. No really, I looked at it in the mirror and then showed it to Chastity who didn't like that so much. It's like a miriad of colours. Who wants to see?!

Uh, anyway, my heartrate still hasn't slowed so I'm going to drink some wine and try to actually play my keyboards. I saved a life today. I think I may have earned music.

I can handle getting out of bed for a few hours a day. I can handle showers and brushing my teeth. I can handle going to the kitchen, though I have to admit nothing much happens when I am there. The thought of eating makes me ill. And I can't handle leaving the house. I can't handle making music. I haven't touched my keyboard in weeks.

Shit.

Some day I'll come out of my room.

I have an album coming out soon.

Holy shit, reality check.

ALSO apparently Chastity is getting kicked out of her house (I TOLD her her now ex-boyfriend was a grade A, dickless douche) so she might be living with me for a little while.

Joy to the mother-frickin' world.

I like to have SEX in my bedroom! Not...have my sister in it! So, in an ironic move, Chastity will be making ME live up to her name. So rude!

I know you might not want to talk about it, but I wanted to say something. And that something is...

( ♥ )

I love you, Ben. And I know you're not okay, but I hope... Well. I don't know what I hope, but I hope it.

I am not angry with you, or with my mother. I thought it was important that you knew.

Hey, Daddio and Daria!

Noah wandered over to my house (don't ask me how, beyond 'public transport') and he's going to stay the night here. He said he went to Peter's and then out to a pub. Maybe someone should point out to him that he has less than four working limbs which usually puts a damper on alone pubtimes. Anyway he made his way here afterwards. He looked wrecked, but he has his meds. Forethought, hurrah. He took some painkillers and he ate the food I forced on him and then crashed.

He had a bit of a panic attack too, but I calmed him down. Just something to be aware of. I think, if he hadn't just been through Hell he would be in a better place to deal with what Peter saw in his vision, but coming after his attack, it's flipping him the fuck out.

He was very worried he would have caused you both panic. Apparently he doesn't have money on his phone because he can't work? Just a thing. He's safe and here, and I might go crawl in with him now because I'm exhausted too.

No funny business, Daria, I swear!

Yesterday Isla said Razvan needed to be more cuddly.

Today Noah took this picture. ( Voila )

Cuddles.

Oh, and the dog! ( He's here too! )

Meet, Vlad! He's my little man. And currently he is not getting along with Mr Bojangles. Ah well, there's time!

Dear world.

God fuck your fucking self right in the motherfucking arse.

FUCK.

OH MY GOD I SLEPT WITH BEN'S FATHER'S EX-BOYFRIEND OH MY GOD!!!