Filtered to Leon

[rubyredstained]

Leon...

I am so embarrassed.

Spectre's been dealing with some shite lately which means the new album isn't due to start recording for two weeks. And that's kind of when it was supposed to be done... Our label doesn't want to continue with us because we're taking too long. That's not the problem, however. Roadrunner Records wants to pick Spectre up and that's a big deal. It's a much bigger label and that's great and everything but apparently they have a stipulation in mind.

If I stay with the band, I have to lose weight.

Spectre went off his nut at them, but so far they're the only other label that want us. And can I really justify everyone else losing their jobs because I'm a fatty?

I feel like shit. Absolute shit. I am in shape, I dance, I work in a cafe, I walk everywhere. I'm very healthy because my mothers are big hippies. I'm just curvy. To lose more weight, I would actually have to be unhealthy and I'm not willing to do that!

I don't know what to do. And I don't want anyone else to know.

Comments

[rubyredstained.livejournal.com]

I think you're pretty brilliant, Leon. Because I didn't want to do it, but I'm too angry to be able to come up with coherent reasons why this sucks arse. So that you for spelling it out for me when I don't have the brainpower to do so. I don't want to change who I am. I like who I am and my music is a part of that. Dammit.

You don't sound like a dick, Leon. I am the last person who would think that anyway. Really really. I would not change my style, so I shouldn't change me either. I just...hate that this means either I leave the band or we all struggle until we find a label that will take us, flab and all. The fact that I am the only one they had an issue with does not help me though. I feel disgusting. I never felt like that until today. I always thought I was fine. Yuck oh yuck.

I hope there's another label out there. Otherwise we're fucked, and I really liked this band and touring and making this music. I really did.

So am I, Love. For many many reasons. They're already toying with my self-worth, augh. I should not feel guilty for eating, this is not right!! I've seen what happens to people when they don't eat! My poor Godric did it right in front of my eyes and Noah's doing it now. They turn into husks of themselves and I will not be a husk. Dammit. I.Will.Not.