Filtered to Leon

[rubyredstained]

Leon...

I am so embarrassed.

Spectre's been dealing with some shite lately which means the new album isn't due to start recording for two weeks. And that's kind of when it was supposed to be done... Our label doesn't want to continue with us because we're taking too long. That's not the problem, however. Roadrunner Records wants to pick Spectre up and that's a big deal. It's a much bigger label and that's great and everything but apparently they have a stipulation in mind.

If I stay with the band, I have to lose weight.

Spectre went off his nut at them, but so far they're the only other label that want us. And can I really justify everyone else losing their jobs because I'm a fatty?

I feel like shit. Absolute shit. I am in shape, I dance, I work in a cafe, I walk everywhere. I'm very healthy because my mothers are big hippies. I'm just curvy. To lose more weight, I would actually have to be unhealthy and I'm not willing to do that!

I don't know what to do. And I don't want anyone else to know.

Comments

[rubyredstained.livejournal.com]

I'm fond of who you are!! We can be fond of each other. That works for me.

I wish I could just brush this off as the bullshit it is. But I feel so goddamned ugly. I'm not going to change, but I can't help how gross it's made me feel.

[thetimewehave.livejournal.com]

Well maybe you shouldn't brush it off, maybe you need to seriously RAGE. Get out there, talk to people, call up the media, blog about it, go to open mic nights and recite angry beat poetry, whatever, get people to listen and get them as angry as you are. Use all the guilt and all the ugly and all the gross that they've thrust on you and use it to shatter something wrong with the world.

[rubyredstained.livejournal.com]

I can rage.

(Though at first I have to admit I thought you were going to tell me to lose weight even after all of this, so maybe I should get past the feeling guilty part first.)

I can try to shatter something that's wrong with the world. I want to.

After I curl up and die.

Not so strong right now.

[thetimewehave.livejournal.com]

Come curl up with me, I'll tell you how far from ugly you are.

[rubyredstained.livejournal.com]

Are you being suggestive, Mr MacArthur?

[thetimewehave.livejournal.com]

Just honest.

[rubyredstained.livejournal.com]

I seriously love you.

[thetimewehave.livejournal.com]

I seriously love you too.