Serenity Dawson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rubyredstained) wrote2010-04-27 09:10 pm
rubyredstained) wrote2010-04-27 09:10 pm
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Noah.
Noah has been a part of my life since I have been in possession of it. Or at least as long as I can remember. When we were kids we did everything together. We played together, slept together, laughed together, cried together. Hell, we took baths together. We created an entire fantasy world in my mothers' back yard which I believe was inhabited by Aslan, this witch from a series of books about child witches, and Legolas. We played doctor, but...he was actually pretending to be a doctor and he would wrap me in toilet paper and announce to our parents he ad 'fixed me'. Good luck, dear Noah. We had a secret language we believed only we understood, though now looking back, our parents probably understood every single pretend word we used.
Noah was my first kiss. Back before I considered him a brother and he was my best friend. Neither of us knew how to kiss so we decided to learn. We watched some cheesy romantic film and acted it out like idiots in the attic bedroom I used to live in at my mothers' house. It was exactly how I would have wanted my first kiss. Happy and safe and silly, and with the best friend I could have ever asked for. I was his first in other ways as well. Kids will be kids. He was a self-professed 'losery geek', though that couldn't have been further from the truth. He wanted to have the experience and I wanted to give that to my best friend.
No one has ever meant as much to me as Noah, save for my parents (my dear Ben included) and my sister. We have been so much for each other. I told him about the first time I kissed a girl. He told me about the only time he kissed a boy. We have shared secrets and experiences and I love him with absolutely all of my jaded and stony little heart.
He's taken a turn for the worse, and he cannot possibly cease to be. I can't fathom it. I refuse to accept it. Noah told me he would be okay. I choose to believe he is right.
Noah, after all, would never lie.
Noah has been a part of my life since I have been in possession of it. Or at least as long as I can remember. When we were kids we did everything together. We played together, slept together, laughed together, cried together. Hell, we took baths together. We created an entire fantasy world in my mothers' back yard which I believe was inhabited by Aslan, this witch from a series of books about child witches, and Legolas. We played doctor, but...he was actually pretending to be a doctor and he would wrap me in toilet paper and announce to our parents he ad 'fixed me'. Good luck, dear Noah. We had a secret language we believed only we understood, though now looking back, our parents probably understood every single pretend word we used.
Noah was my first kiss. Back before I considered him a brother and he was my best friend. Neither of us knew how to kiss so we decided to learn. We watched some cheesy romantic film and acted it out like idiots in the attic bedroom I used to live in at my mothers' house. It was exactly how I would have wanted my first kiss. Happy and safe and silly, and with the best friend I could have ever asked for. I was his first in other ways as well. Kids will be kids. He was a self-professed 'losery geek', though that couldn't have been further from the truth. He wanted to have the experience and I wanted to give that to my best friend.
No one has ever meant as much to me as Noah, save for my parents (my dear Ben included) and my sister. We have been so much for each other. I told him about the first time I kissed a girl. He told me about the only time he kissed a boy. We have shared secrets and experiences and I love him with absolutely all of my jaded and stony little heart.
He's taken a turn for the worse, and he cannot possibly cease to be. I can't fathom it. I refuse to accept it. Noah told me he would be okay. I choose to believe he is right.
Noah, after all, would never lie.
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He just told me he loved me, you know? He woke up and told me that, all drugged up and honest. And there's so many things I have to say to him still, so many things, years worth of things.
I just want him to wake up and say something in that way of his that makes you feel that everything is going to be alright in the end.
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Oh, Daria. He told me he loved you too. Countless times. Absolutely countless times. I want him to wake up and do that too. He is really very good at that. Do you want company in the meantime? I can tell you all about every time he said he loved you.
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It is in everything he does, how much he loves you. And how wonderful he is.
If you need anything else, you can ask me too. Anything.
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I don't know what I need other than the complete obvious (him to be okay) but if you came by, I wouldn't complain :)
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And then I called him after I was raped and he came and rescued me. And he became so important to my life that night. He was and is such an integral part of what makes me me. I call him every day. I talk to him every day and today I didn't get to. And I hate it. I hate it.
I have faith in Noah too. He will make it through. But goddammit, I want to talk to my friend now. I miss him.
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I miss him too, Godric. And I love you.
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